Fear of the Unknown

Learning is going from something being unknown to it being known to you. It may be a fact, a theory, a concept, a way of doing things that was previously unknown to you becoming known. Or it may be something that you previously weren't able to do that after learning you know how to do.

But sometimes learning can be blocked by fear of the unknown. It can be fear of how you will appear to others if you attempt a particular activity. Or it can be fear that you don't have what it takes to master whatever it is you wish to learn. But whether it is fear of social ridicule or fear of your own limitations, it can still block you from attempting the activity.

Last week, I decided that I wanted to learn Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). I had seen clips of it on Youtube and it seemed amazingly effective against a wide range of other martial arts. But I was a little bit scared since doing a martial art like BJJ was something outside of my experience and I didn't know how I would cope with it, either physically or in terms of acquiring the skills.

So I checked it out on the Web and found a local club where I could just go and watch a class, and where the first actual class was free.

Last Monday, I went and watched a beginners class and this experience increased my familiarity with what learning BJJ would require and my confidence that I could do it. I saw that there was a wide range of skill levels in the class and that the more experienced students helped those who were less experienced begin to master the techniques being taught. So on Wednesday, I did a free class.

Actually doing the class, I found that it was a little bit more physically demanding than it at first appeared, but I was able to successfully able to do a takedown, a sweep and a choke, with a bit of guidance from my practice partner. I was uncoordinated, forgot technical points that made the techniques effective and generally wasn't very good. But this didn't matter: it was my first class so why would I expect to be instantly good when people spend years training in this martial art?

So now that I've had the physical experience of doing a class, I'm confident that if I make the commitment I can master this new skill. What was previously unknown to me was now known: what learning BJJ would take, that this was within my physical and mental capabilities and that I would be supported in my learning by others around me.

When we try something new we sometimes get the idea that everyone is looking at us, something that psychologists refer to as the Spotlight Effect. But the reality is that everyone else is too concerned about how they are doing to worry about you. And in most classes, they want you to keep coming and so they are supportive of your struggling initial efforts.

Woody Allen once said that 90% of success is turning up. And when it comes to learning a new skill in a situation where other people can see you fail, just by turning up you have made a key step towards mastering a fear that would otherwise undermine your learning. Sure you might struggle initially: if it was easy then everybody would be able to do it. But as someone else once said "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" and in learning unless you are willing to fall on your face once in a while and in public, you may never take that first step towards what you want to achieve.

You can look at it as a three stage process:

1. See how it's done
2. Try it out
3. Commit to learning it.

Through the first two stages you reduce the unknown to the familiar and this gives you the information you need to decide whether the 3rd stage is worth it to you. But when you make that decision at least it is made on the basis of knowledge not fear. Knowledge casts out fear and things are rarely as difficult as you fear they will be.

So if there's something you've been putting off learning because of fear of the unknown, dip your toe in the water and try it.

It could put you on the road to something you may find ultimately very fulfilling.